MY BROTHER

Dec 12, 2014
Yesterday was the first time in my life that I knew my brother would not wish me a happy birthday.  And for the first time in as long as I can remember I didn't make myself a note to call my brother the next day.  I was born 1 year and 364 days after my brother.  His birthday Dec 12 and mine Dec 11.  I was the intruder in his world.  We were the oldest in a family of 7 children.  We didn't always have an easy life but we always had food and clothing and a roof over our heads.
I loved my brother but I didn't really know him.  We hadn't lived in the same city since we were in our teens and that makes it hard to know one another.  He had a type A personality, a workaholic and a alcoholic. Although Mike had stopped drinking more than 30 years ago he still considered himself an alcoholic and still went to meetings.  These are the things I know for sure.
Mike died this spring.  When I went to the funeral I saw his grown children and met some of his grandchildren.  His family talked about what a good grandfather he was and about how he had helped each one of them.  This was the first time I had seen the relationship between him and his children.
This was a different Mike, the loving father, the patient grandfather, the helpful son in law.  I'm very sad that I didn't get to know that person.
I love you Mike.

ROUND AND ROUND WE GO

Business has been good, which is great because if I choose to sell the store I can ask a higher price.  Today I found out there will be a thrift store going in next door.  That will ruin my business and blow any chance I have of selling this store.  Every time I feel positive about my store something else negative happens. 
I've got my Christmas shopping done.  I've got gifts for everyone except the grandkids and they are getting gift certificates or cash.  We will be making cookies and ornaments with the great grandkids this Sunday. 
We will go to my daughters for Christmas day.  I'm fixing mac & cheese and low carb sausage balls to take for Christmas.  Everyone brings a dish and we will exchange presents.  We tried drawing names for a few years but now I just get everyone a gift.  It didn't feel right not giving presents to my daughters when we were drawing names.  I don't spend a lot on each person but since I only support myself I don't feel bad about the money I do spend.  After so many years of being a single mom it feels good to give whenever I want.
2015 will be a year of change.

THE BEGINNINGS

Everyone starts their rv journey from different places.  This morning I was reading a blog about a woman that had filed bankruptcy and lost everything - her home, her car, her business.  She started over with a truck and used trailer.  I've read many blogs like this and I've read many blogs where people chose to sell their house and go fulltime rving.  Sometimes they are out of work and can no longer afford their house, sometimes they have retirement money available as well as social security.  Some people choose to live in a van or small rv to avoid rent or house payments.  Some people choose to live in a high end rv and pay rent at rv parks and resorts.  Every story is a little different but in the end we all want the freedom to travel and see what is out there.
I know I would be happy keeping a house here near my children and traveling several times a year but I don't see that as an option.  (I think I've written this before.)

It is 11 am and I've only had one customer this morning.  Sales have been declining since the beginning of November.  Sales during September and October were up from the previous year which gave me some hope that maybe I could turn the store around.  I gave myself a goal in August to save $300 a month on average.  (I say "on average" because when you own a business you know that money does not come in on a regular basis so you may be up one month and down the next.)   So far for the months of September, October and November I've saved exactly $300.  In October I did have to pay the business insurance so I knew there would be no saving during that month.  The disappointing part is November sales were so bad I not only didn't save but I couldn't pay one of my bills.  So roll that bill over to December and hope that I have an unusually good month just to keep up with my bills never mind saving.  Then the new year brings taxes and more worry.
I hate being so negative but I'm trying to be honest about where I am with respect to meeting my goals to travel.

HOLIDAYS

Things I'm thankful for:
My children
My grandchildren & great grandchildren
My health - thankful for no serious illnesses
My home - warm and secure to come home after working all day.
My business - a blessing because I have the freedom to do the work I want and a curse because you can't just close a business for weeks while you travel.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!
We had Thanksgiving dinner at my house this year.  We had 28 people in my small house but I think everyone had a good time.  Two of my daughters came over the night before and early on Thanksgiving day to help prep and cook.
The next holiday, Christmas, will be at my oldest daughter's house.  She has 6 almost grown children and 3 grandkids.  For years they all came to my house but the last two years we have all found it easier to celebrate Christmas day at her house and let all the kids come and go according to their work and family schedules. 
Between now and Christmas we will get together to make cookies and ornaments at my house.  Holidays with my girls and grandkids is something I would really miss if I traveled full time.  The cost of gas to come home for the holidays plus just trying to stay warm in a little trailer when the temps drop into the teens would make holidays very difficult.
I am constantly waffling back and forth, stay or go, stay or go the question never seems to end.
Back to work for now.
Happy holidays!

 

MORE THOUGHTS ON FULL TIMING!

I've spent most of today reading a blog about volunteering and living in housing provided by NWR.  This is very interesting to me.  If I did something like this, instead of buying an rv, I could buy a van for traveling and stay in the housing provided.  This way I wouldn't have to sell my house to buy an rv.  The idea of selling my house and spending all of the money on a rv does bother me.
While I love to travel I haven't really spent much time in an rv.  I like to hike but my hiking is limited to 1 or 2 mile trails with company.  I haven't done any alone  hiking or climbing hilly areas or dry desert area hiking.   When at the Valley of the Gods a few years ago I enjoyed walking around but I tend to stay in shady areas.  I burn very easily and have a family history of skin cancer.  I know this should not stop me from doing something I might enjoy,  just use lots of sun screen and wear hats.
I like the nice a/c and heat in my house.  How would I feel about leaving the rv if it was hot and humid or cold outside?  I don't know the answer so it's very hard to make the commitment.
One fear is spending all the money I have on an rv then not liking it.  There would be nothing to fall back on.  Another fear is not being able to make enough money to travel.  Many fulltimer's that I follow have retirement money coming in, and earn money on the road.
A paying or volunteering job that would provide housing while I travel sounds like the ideal situation to try out this new life style for six month to a year.  I am going to do some research in this area.
I hope this post is not too hard to read, my thoughts are jumping all over the place.
Have a great day!

Slow Day

Work has been very slow today.  Cleaned and stocked 2 boxes of books and waited on a few customers.  Spent the rest of the time reading travel blogs.  Business has been picking up a little so I can pay the bills for another month.  Tina was going to come in and work today but she hurt her ankle this week and cannot walk on it for a few days.  Hopefully it will be better when she has to go back to work on Monday.
I've eaten several pieces of chocolate candy today which is not good for diabetes but sometimes you just want something special.  I'll have to come up with something very low carb for dinner tonight.
Speaking of low carb, Thanksgiving is at my house this year.  I've got to come up with some low carb recipes for side dishes.  The kids all want mashed potatoes, bread stuffing and mac n cheese.  We'll see what substitutes I can improvise.
That's it for an exciting day at the office.
Have a wonderful weekend!

STILL NO VACATION PICTURES

When on vacation I'm usually the first one up.  I make coffee and go for a walk or sit by the water and enjoy nature and my morning coffee.  When in parks we don't usually hike very far but I enjoy the short walks and if my daughter is with me (she likes hiking) we take longer hikes which I enjoy.  I dream of waking up every morning in the woods or near water (a lake, river, ocean) or viewing the snow cap mountains in the distance.

I can't find the cd for my camera so I cannot download the pictures from my trip to Michigan.  Even with no pictures I can tell you it was a great trip.  We saw all the lighthouses from Cheboygan to Port Huron, MI that could be seen from land.  It was a very relaxing trip, no rushing around and very little getting lost.  Sometimes getting lost is part of the fun as long as you're on back roads and enjoying the views.

While staying in hotels we watched a lot of HGTV which only makes me want to do some remodeling to my house.  Since being home I've revisited some of the numbers for keeping my house and I always come back to the same problem.  NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO KEEP THE HOUSE AND TRAVEL!  I'm not particularly attached to my house but I'm not thrilled about living in a trailer the rest of my life either.  I feel that when the time comes to get off the road I'll be forced into an apartment community that I may not want, or worse yet I'll be a burden on one of my children.

I've been reading a lot of blogs and information about the lifestyle.  I'm not sure I want to be alone 24/7 with nothing to do for weeks on end.  I enjoy going for short hikes, walking in the woods, sitting on the beach and exploring new places but I'm not a great outdoors person.  Right now I work 5 days and have 2 days off.  I have no trouble doing nothing on those days but when I get day 3 off I need to go somewhere and do something.

From what I have learned most full timers fall into 2 categories.  Group 1 stay in the wilderness most of the year enjoying nature and  their survival skills, often joining up at campgrounds for the winter months.  Group 2 stay in camp grounds and socialize on a regular basis. Obviously this is simplifying things quite a bit and I'm sure there is also a large group that do a combination.   I don't see myself falling into either of these groups so how well will the full time life style fit my personality.

I think of myself as a loner but I've come to realize since I've owned this store I've made a lot of friends who would be missed very much if the store closes.  Maybe this indicates the work camping or volunteering plan might work out for me.  Working in an environment that requires some interaction with campers but allows me the freedom to visit and explore on my own may be the right answer.